So I’m from Washington and no I don’t mean Washington D.C., otherwise I’d say Washington D.C. or DC. Come on now people! For some stupid reason a lot of people on the East coast assume that I mean DC when I tell me where I’m from. It bugs the hell outta me.
But anyway, (pause and smile) I know rain and I do mean serious rain, the kind that lasts for weeks at a time.
I moved to Florida a few years ago and call it home and the rain in Florida doesn’t compare with the rain in Washington……state y’all not DC, right? (wink,wink)
When it rains in Florida, everything floods in a day, there’s so much rain coming down that you’d think that you don’t need an umbrella to go from your car to the entrance of a store or restaurant, but OMG let me tell you!
A few times when I first moved to Flo-rida I was cocky, confident and way confused because I thought I could dash from my car into a store without much damage.
Ends up that my defiance and denial got me easily looking like a drowned rat. In the few seconds that it took to go from opening my car door to running through the parking lot that was then filled with big water puddles to the front door of a store, I would get completely soaked from head to toe. It was like I took a 5-minute shower in 5 seconds.
So there is be, standing in disbelief, looking like I’d just taken a shower and I decided to just go inside. The only other problem now was that every freaking store, restaurant, theater and building where I live by the beach keeps their AC cranked to a very cold 70 degrees. Why the fuck do they do that? It’s painful!
So I go from being soaked to risk getting hypothermia, pick your poison right!
I’ve talked to other people about this phenomenon (mostly women cuz we get cold easy) and they wholeheartedly agree with my discovery.
Our solution (because you know a WA state girl won’t break down be admit that she should get an umbrella and actually use it) is to dress in layers. I’d wear a rain coat (yes these exist and are an approved item to wear in Seattle, along with wearing teva sandals with socks, all completely acceptable) and I’d also bring a winter coat. Yes you heard me right, a winter coat that I use to wear when it’s snowing outside and cold (because in WA the winter is super shitty).
I know that I’d look funny with my getup but I don’t give a shit cuz I was dry, warm and toasty.
No one wants to be all bundled up freezing while they try to grocery shop (and end up walking away from a half full grocery cart because they are upset at how cold it is and that its not worth it to continue to suffer any longer or they can’t hold on) or have a meal at their fav spot. Miserable situation.
If only someone of authority could hear my rant and not make it so f-ing cold inside, the world would be a better place, well at least in my crazy neck of the woods.
Humidity and asinine should go in the same sentence when describing Florida!
Living on the gorgeous emerald coast in Florida, winter time here is truly wonky. During the day the temperature could be in the 60’s and 70’s and then somewhere in the night be a very chilly 30 degrees. Then best day would be warm again and then at night the temperature would be in the 60’s. Mother Nature fucking make up your mind!
You can spot both a true local and a tourist during winter time in two ways, one the local is wearing a winter coat when the temperature goes below 60 degrees and the fucking tourist would be swimming happily in the ocean and walking around wearing shorts, flip flops and a t-shirt. Someone’s confused here and I will say the out-of-towners fit the description.
Tourists can’t all be stupid because the folks who live up north are smart as hell to come down south for the winter. Who the hell wants to put up with freezing temperatures, snow, ice and living in a state of perpetual death and gray outside?! Not me!