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How do you like the title of this blog post? I fucking love it! Oh and I believe in swearing as a healthy way to be honest, to have no cumbersome filters and as a means to express your true feelings (I wanted to give you a little warning).
I think it’s high time that I talk about how difficult it is having a vagina, seriously.
For the women that are reading this, I am sure that you will be able to sympathize with me as you read through my very open dialogue and maybe get a laugh out of something that I mention. One can only hope!
I think that vagina’s are like high maintenance women. They can be demanding, talk back and hit you where it hurts, both in your puss and in your wallet. Coochies need attention, they are needy, they are a pain in the ass when they are irritated and making them happy could qualify as a part-time job alone.
I can say stuff like this because I have one myself (a vagina, that is).
Let me give a few more very specific examples about how hard it is to have a vagina.
Having a vagina takes almost constant work to make sure it doesn’t get pissed off and mad or worse yet get you sick, especially when you are sexually active.
There is almost nothing worse than having a sick vag. Feeling an ultra-intense burning sensation when you pee from having a UTI is like a full-on slap in the face from Dwayne Johnson (aka: The Rock). No one would like that!
Fucking men get to frolick in between the sheets and the worse thing that can happen to them physically other than getting someone pregnant or an STD or perhaps a yeast infection. It’s hard for men to get a bladder infection and most men don’t show obvious signs or symptoms of many sexually transmitted diseases like HPV and more. Aren’t you pricks lucky?!
We lucky women sometimes get fucked twice after only having sex just once. We could get any number of different types of infections from intercourse or worse.
Men don’t have nearly as many problems with their peckers (even ones that aren’t circumcised) as women have with their poor defenseless coochies.
Over the years of being in long-term relationships, there were many times when I felt that I was getting the short end of the deal because I got really sick at least a few times a year. I had to get on antibiotics to cure something that was caused by bacteria from having sex. I’ve had to do a 7-day Monistat treatment for a yeast infection.
It’s pretty sad when I recently came to realization that I enjoy my relationship with my Monistat plastic inserts because it’s the most intercourse I’ve had in a year.
I could go on and on but I won’t.
I also won’t go into how crazy our hormones make us feel and act, how fun PMS is, how enjoyable it is to feel like we have a faucet turned on in between our legs once a month that bleeds red or how crazy painful childbirth is. And none having kidney stones isn’t the same level of pain that a women endured for hours and hours when giving birth to a baby.
I’ll just quickly mention that I think that men are super big babies when it come to them dealing with pain and being sick, compared to a woman.
Let me ask now why does this saying exist “Men are the stronger sex?” I call bullshit, B-I-G time!
Let’s me get back on track now. Thankfully, I finally figured out how to take good care of my puss. It took many years, but I learned exactly what to do and what not to do. You know like wipe front to back, not the other way around. To both take a shower before having some “sexy time.” As well as to pee and take a quick soapy shower after having sexual relations to make sure stuff didn’t creep up into my bladder and that my vag was all clean and happy.
I’ve even found some almost magical probiotics that are made for vaginal health. These will change your sex life, if you are like me and seem to be susceptible to getting frequent UTI’s.
Now, I will share the absolutely most amazing thing that my vagina has done for me, that was to help give me my beautiful, remarkable and very special son, Nick.
He is my greatest accomplishment!
I happily took a beating physically by bringing him into this world, it was worth every ache, pain and scar. I earned everything and feel like I get to wear an invisible badge of achievement on my chest for all of my sacrifices.
So to end on a good note, all dicks aren’t bad and all pussy’s aren’t troublemakers. I ask of us all, through the very wise words of Rodney King “Can’t we all just get along?” (I know this quote was not meant in this context, forgive me, I’m just trying to make you smile or chuckle, even if just a little but.)
Take good care of your nether regions or learn how to because it absolutely sucks being sick from something that maybe could have been prevented by having an honest conversation with your doctor or a specialist.
Ok, that’s all that I have on this subject.
Peace out pussies and pussy lovers!