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Yes, I do take drugs on a daily basis, the legal kind. You know the kinds that a doctor or psychiatrist prescribes. I’ve never done any illegal drugs in the 40+ years that I’ve been alive, which from my experience I’ve found is very rare nowadays.
I used to be very scared and hesitant to take any kind of medicine, even over the counter drugs. I have experienced a lot of bad reactions to everyday drugs and found out that I have severe allergies to various antibiotics in my youth and adult life. So being open to trying an anti-depressant was a huge test and ultimately an even bigger victory for me.
I wanted to share some info, insights and tips about the medications I take in a daily basis and what they help me with. Here goes……..
Mirtazapine (7.5 mg, every night)
I take an anti-depressant called Mirtazapine (Remeron). I’ve been on it since 2015/2016. It helps me with my depression, anxiety, OCD, it stimulates my appetite and helps me sleep soundly through the night, without waking up.
I’ve tried to stop taking this med with the encouragement and support of my primary physician at the time where he said “Maybe it’s time to stop it, you are in a good place,” (He was trying to be supportive of my concern that I didn’t like thinking that I was to be dependent on any one medication or that I’d have to be on something for life) and I relapsed (anorexia) within 3-4 weeks from the time I started tapering down my dose of it.
Back then, I really didn’t want to admit to myself that I may have to be on any specific medication for the rest of my life but found out that this medicine helps me stay stable with my weight, my mood, my appetite and more.
I have gotten off of Mirtazapine 3 times in total, once I thought that I could switch it out for medical marijuana, I was almost dead wrong. Thankfully, I got back on it and have stayed on it religiously since my last mistaken judgement call to stop taking it.
For me there are more pros than cons to taking this drug, so I’m at peace with it all now.
Klonopin (.25 mg, once daily)
This drug helps me with stopping panic attacks, if I take it right when I start feeling one come on. It shuts it down almost immediately.
I had a prescription for this for years but would rather have a full-blown panic attack with tremors for hours and an IBS episode. I would say I deserved to have the attack because I was overdoing things in my life. What a stupid, lame ass excuse that is. Thankfully, I got over it!
When I was at the treatment center, OPC my team and I decided to incorporate this medicine into my daily regimen. The idea was that I would take the drug at a certain time of day and it would help squash any anxiety that had built up, which affects me being able to eat enough for my bodies needs. Since my eating disorder isn’t the “classic” type and is instead aggravated by stress and too much anxiety, incorporating this med into my daily life has helps tremendously.
I take a half of a full Klonopin pill (It’s aka Clonazepam) once every single day around morning snack, before lunch and it helps keep me calm so I can eat more throughout the whole day than without taking it. It’s my “chill pill.”
Let me start off by telling you OMG this stuff can rock your world!
I will tell you this, it was a hell of a process and very expensive for me to get a legit prescription to do marijuana legally here in Florida. I applied for it a few years ago and have tried a handful of different methods: from a pill, to a tinture, to edible pot, to vaping it.
I had never tried it before this time in my life, even though I had been offered it lots. Plus, it was really important to me that when I did try it that I do it legally. That’s just how I fly!
I got high for the first time when I visited Washington state (where I grew up) in 2017. It was on my honeymoon and pot was completely legal everywhere in the state. That fact alone was a trip. There were stores on every corner or so it felt like it to me.
I bought some edible gummies that were 20 milligrams each. They looked and tasted like candy, which proved to be a bit deceptive to me.
I didn’t know shit about marijuana and ended up having a really bad experience my first time. I took 1 gummy and didn’t feel anything for 30 minutes so I ate another one, oh wow, that ended up being a very bad choice. I totally understand what it feels like when people say that they have had a reallyyyyy “bad trip.” Plus, I was hung over for 2 days afterwards.
I remember a lot about that experience, most of it was not cool and I had to be carried up stairs and to bed because I couldn’t get off of the couch.
I absolutely hate the euphoric feeling that the THC in pot produces, I just wanted to CBD benefits. So, I got smarter and more educated about it all.
I eventually found that I liked vaping from a vape pen from Surterra. I was pretty apprehensive and scared of vaping at first (and for good reasons), but decided to give it a try.
I found 1 vape pen that worked, even though I didn’t know how to inhale or vape very well because I’ve never smoke anything, ever. I did my best.
I once again stupidly tried to replace this with my anti-depressant and ended up in the hospital a month later because I had malnutrition, was severely underweight, my heart was hurting and I was slightly dehydrated. I had officially relapsed again from my “stress-induced” anorexia.
I stopped vaping medical marijuana completely at this point and am fine with that! It’s all good 😁
From a few days spent in the hospital and getting Baker Acted, soon after getting home, I worked on getting myself admitted to Oliver Pyatt in Miami, an Eating Disorder Treatment center. This was the best and the hardest thing that I have done for myself in years. It saved my life much like the drugs that I take help me be stable and have a better quality of life than without being on them.
Drugs that didn’t work for me:
- Zoloft (Sertraline)
- Celexa (Citalopram)
I ended up taking an amazing test that looked at my genetics to see which different Psychotropic drugs my body would tolerate and which ones weren’t worth trying because they would produce bad side effects. The name of the test is: GeneSight
My insurance didn’t cover the above test, so I happily paid for it out of pocket around $550 dollars. It was a great investment and it’s been referenced a few times over the last year by various doctors.
Please note, I am not a doctor. I am sharing my own personal experience with these medications. I am not giving advice here, I’m just sharing facts and my opinion for what works for me. If you have any condition that is similar to mine, please consult with your primary doctor or a psychiatrist. It could just change or save your life as well!
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