Yes, I think bathroom humor is one of the funniest things in life, deal with it!
You know when you really love your dog, it’s when you do you damnedest to stand down wind when they take a crap and find that you can’t escape the smell, no matter where you stand.
And then our poor clueless dogs look at us sideways when they see us picked up their crap from the ground.
We know that even though we have plastic in between us and the dastardly deed, it still feels like you are touching it.
And then it’s sad when you try your hardest to not get any of their shit on your fingers when you go to pick it up and randomly you somehow graze it and you freak out when you realize that you now have your dogs crap on your fingers. That’s the worst!
Looks like a fart coming out sideways. Use your imagination here!
You are so full of shit, I am going to go buy you some pull-ups!
I was eating Milano cookies in bed the other night and felt a fart coming on. Since I live alone, I didn’t think twice about leaning over and letting one squeak on out. Then I laughed to myself because my cookies were sitting right beside me and that was the way I aimed my fart. I couldn’t help but to chuckle to myself as I was eating “my fart cookies.” They tasted great 👍🏼
My 19 year old son and I had a pleasant conversation on the phone recently. We were talking about the “LifeStraw” and how you could drink out of one of the most polluted rivers in India (The Ganges) and not get sick if you use that special water filtering straw. Then he randomly reminded me about the time his mentor, Neil went to India when he was around my son’s age (20’s) and had explosive diarrhea on the bus in India because he drank some tea from a vendor by the infamously polluted Ganges river but didn’t know that vendor got the water out of the river to make the tea and he had already had a few cups. He deeply offended everyone on the bus and not because he was a white boy! Nick (my son) said that his shit even got all over other people sitting near him. OMG, can you imagine being one of the innocent ones! How gross!
This immediately made me think of the time when Nick had a similar situation at a grocery store when he was 4 or 5 years old. He was still wearing pull-ups and he didn’t tell me he needed to go to the bathroom or anything. Pretty soon out of nowhere he took got hit with the liquid shits. His pill-ups weren’t built for that amount of crap, in fact they didn’t contain his explosive mess very well! As we were at the checkout buying groceries and such, all hell broke loose or busted loose in his pants. Out came nasty brown liquid from the bottom of his pants. I was so em bare assed 👍🏼 about the situation and my little super turd making son. Nick was slipping and sliding in his amazing mess.
I quickly said that I would be happy to clean it up. Soon enough a young male clerk of about 16-17 years old came up to help and he told me that “he’d take care of it. No problem.” That poor guy! They don’t get paid enough to literally be dealing with other people’s shit!
Oh and that whole outfit and the shoes went into the trash can outside of the store. I wrapped them in a garbage bag so as to not be a total asshole. I’m not even sure how I got him home but I think coats and plastic bags were involved. Crazy, shitty situations huh!
I was sitting at the dining table having breakfast today and I farted really loud right into my maxi pad. I couldn’t help but to chuckle because it reminded me of a baby proudly farting into their diaper and then acting all clueless.